Family
by Dead L E
Summary: Sarah is a weird Darren Shan lover, as in the books, not the person, until the day the traces back her family tree and finds something amazing. What would you do, if you were the one related to... a vampire? Now rated T for paranoia. Please R&R!
1. Family Trees

**YAY! I finally got round to writing this! I've been telling this story over and over to my brothers... So I guess that I should stop trying to bore them to death and write this all down. In this story, Sarah is me, but my name's not Sarah. My brother's name was actually a dare, my parents aren't mad! This story is more for me than anyone else... It's based on one of my many daydreams. Please enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Family Trees<strong>

Sarah was sitting at the lunch table with her friend, Miriam.

"Do you really think that I'm a good friend?" asked Sarah for the thousandth time. She knew what the answer would be, but she was asking anyway.

"Of course I do! What makes you think that?" Miriam was always cheerful, but then, she read cheerful stories, not the vampire books that Sarah was so interested in. Sarah was twelve years old, but she preferred the company of younger or older people, because kids her age never quite seemed to understand her. She had long blonde hair and grey eyes, which were sometimes green and sometimes blue but the problem wasn't her looks, she wasn't especially ugly, and not many of the girls in her class could be jealous, it could have been the fact that she was one of the top three kids in her class the first on being Marty, a Bulgarian kid and the third being her twin brother, Stickletroffoboglogdogy. Sarah was actually quite normal, if you judged her by her looks, but there was more to her than met the eye.

"Well… Marty gives me weird looks when I mention vampires! I was just talking about putting a vampire picture in my locker, and he just walked up to me and gave me this you-are-so-weird look!"

"Maybe you should talk about something else, you have to admit, you do spend most of your time talking about that Larten Crepsley!"

"Hmm… But I _do _talk about other things! I had an average conversation about music an hour ago! I'm interested in cats, the environment, some sports… I could say more, but that would take too long."

"Maybe you should find something that you both have in common!" laughed Miriam, "He can't be _that_ bad, I have some friends that have a different taste in books than I do!" Sarah nodded, silently, she was pretty sure that she had a different taste in books than she did. Miriam was a really nice friend, she was fourteen and she wasn't _fake, _she never wore makeup, she didn't try to look especially good. Miriam had rather short blonde hair, which always looked as if it needed a shower. She was one of the only British children in the school apart from Sarah.

"I just wish something something special would happen just for once in my life!"

"You know the saying, 'be careful what you wish for'," said Miriam enigmatically.

"By the way, I-"

"By 'by the way' I guess you mean, 'totally out of the topic'?" hinted Miriam.

"Yeah," Sarah grinned, "I found out that I have German blood!"

"And?"

"According to my research, Larten is German too! Now, if I could only find a link to him…"

"You do realise that he's a fictional character, and that no amount of research will change that, right?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, sure… I'm going to spend my whole evening on my computer tonight."

"Doing what?"

"Tracing my family tree!"

"You don't _really_ believe that you're going to find Larten in your family tree?"

"Mmm... Yeah... I don't..." Sarah stared at the wall, slipping into a daydream.

Later that afternoon, Sarah opened up her laptop. She opened up her laptop and ran her finger through the family names. She found her French grandmother's maiden name, the one that had turned out to be German. For some reason, Sarah's heart couldn't stop beating. It was so exciting! She was half arguing with herself, her logic side was telling her that she couldn't be related to Larten, and her imaginative side (the one that had only managed work out on her eleventh birthday that dreaming about a genie doesn't make it real!) was just exploding with anticipation. For once, Sarah wasn't in the mood to argue with herself. She just wanted Larten.

"What're you doin?" whispered her nine year old little brother, trying to be cool.

"NOTHING! Could you just leave me?" Sarah didn't want her own brother to think she was mad. She opened up her hotmail, "Oh! Look, a PM from Vampanezegirl97! And a story review from KBerry!"

"Ooh! Can I see?" asked her brother pushing her away so he could read the reviews, he spent most his time listening to his sister's stories. Most of them were okay, and his sister had this funny thing where she could suddenly start acting in the middle of the story she was telling. "What about Slumberparty Fun? Does Larten love you yet? Is everyone voting for you?"

"I don't know," Sarah smiled, it was nice to know that her brother _actually_ payed attention to her. She opened up Fan-fiction and wrote back to both of them, she loved having friends over the internet, because there were so many more people on the internet. She could make friends with people that liked her for reading about vampires. When her brother went back to playing Pokemon, she opened up word and started writing her Last Will and Testament. She'd started doing that a few days ago, she didn't know why. She just hoped that someone would think of checking her computer if she ever died. She added another paragraph about giving her money to cats and saved it. She wasn't in the mood for it anymore. Sarah went back to her family tree, she stared at the meaningless names her dead relatives for a few minutes. "Wait! What was that?" cried Sarah, scrolling back, "No. Way. It's... It can't be. No. CHARNA'S F**CKING GUTS!" She pressed on the name for more information:

**Larten Crepsley**

**1805-?**

**Short bio:**

**Worked at a silk factory since 1813.  
>Murdered a man called Traz in 1817.<br>Was found missing shortly afterwards.****Was never buried- missing body.**

"Would you believe it?" Sarah was barely whispering, she could hardly breathe! It was... Literally breathtaking! A feeling so amazing that she would never be able to describe it, not even in a million years, it was Larten. It really was Larten! "Shouldn't get too excited. Who knows? Maybe Darren Shan did some research before he wrote his story..." she thought to herself. Three minutes later, everyone that had ever reviewed her on fan fiction or that had ever been to see her profile knew that she was related to Larten. Sarah's eyes watered, she just wanted to shout something, _anything_, just to show how happy she was! She wanted to hug every one she'd ever met! It felt as if the world should stop, pause, so she could feel amazing forever. Unfortunately, there was a pile of homework due for Monday, so she worked on that.

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><p><strong>Some of the stuff here is real. I <em>do<em> have friend called Miriam (Ha! You all thought that I was a loner with no friends whatsoever! Right?) and I _do_ happen to have German blood, which is quite a coincidence because I thought of the story before I learnt that I had German family O.o. But I'm _not_ related to Larten and I haven't tried tracing back my family tree _yet_.**


	2. NOT AN UPDATE, BUT IT'S URGENT!

**This isn't an update, BUT FOR THE SAKE OF THE VAMPIRE GODS, READ ON!**

**The site is in danger!**

I've just read an update from KBerry saying this, and I'm seething with anger! A Bill could possibly be passed on January the 24th that will shut down a lot of sites-_INCLUDING THIS ONE_**! **Do you realise how little time is left? Today is the 20 of January! Do the maths. Yep, you were right, barely 4 days. This time **NO ONE** can linger about and moan. **EVERYONE** can do this, **EVERYONE** should react. We're _all_ going to lose something here, whether it's a favourite story, a friend, or even a nice review! We're all in this **TOGETHER**!

The government is trying to take our world away from us! As cheesy as it sounds, I don't think I could survive without **EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU! **This is the world where all my troubles turn to dust and **EVERYONE** loves the things that _I_ love as well, don't let them take all of this away!

Don't think that you _are_ alone just because you feel alone sitting in front of computer screen, this site has over **2 MILLION** members! Remember this, all **TWO MILLION** of you, we are** ALL** avid readers, we are** ALL** people that like writing, maybe not **ALL** but… You get the idea. We're all here for basically the same reasons, I can't stress how much this site means to me. If they shut it down… I don't know what I'll do. **BUT I KNOW** what to do now! I'm going to post this on every one of my stories to raise awareness! We are** STRONG**! Do I have to spell this out to get the message across to you? **W-E- -C-A-N- -D-O- -T-H-I-S!**

I'm not saying it's possible, I'm saying I **KNOW** we can do this. It's gut instinct, but I won't be right unless **YOU** whoever you are reading this, posts this on your profile or in a new chapter, preferably one with a lot of alerts on it. You **HAVE** to make a difference. We are all **UNIQUE, AMAZING, WONDERFUL** and **IMAGINATIVE** people, time to prove that we can do more than sit around chatting. We can beat the government! Do you know how many people there are in the US government? **19500**. Do you know how many people are in the UK government?** 650 MPs**. Can you imagine that?** 20 150 fat irritable adults vs. 2 000 000 adoring fan fiction fans** of many ages, full of compassion for their favourite characters! Do you know what the best part is? The government is always debating! Do we need a fricking **DEBATE** to know that we** LOVE** and by** LOVE** I mean **LOVE** this site?

Are you a fangirl, or even a fan_boy_? Perhaps you love Steve Leopard, Larten Crepsley, Darren Shan, Arra Sails, Lady Evanna or even *shudder* Desmond this site goes down, you will struggle to find people who feel the same. (Although, if you like Desmond, you'll struggle anyway XD)

Maybe you're sad that a book series ended. Maybe you want to write about what happened to Harry Potter's children, or after Darren died. If this site goes down, you can't keep the books alive. You can't share new stories of your favourite characters with the world.

**SO STOP THESE GOVERNMENT SHIT HEADS FROM TAKING OUR SITE!**

So call your senators today and tell them to vote against PIPA! We can do this! If you see this, put something in a new chapter of an existing story! Spread the word!

AL, Jefferson Sessions, 334-244-7017  
>AL, Richard Shelby, 205-759-5047<br>AR, John Boozman, 479-725-0400  
>AR, Mark Pryor, 501-324-6336<br>AZ, Jon Kyl, 602-840-1891  
>AZ, John McCain, 602-952-2410<br>CA, Barbara Boxer, 510-286-8537  
>CA, Dianne Feinstein, 415-393-0707<br>CO, Michael Bennet, 303-455-7600  
>CT, Richard Blumenthal, 860-258-6940<br>CT, Joseph Lieberman, 860-549-8463  
>DE, Thomas Carper, 302-573-6291<br>DE, Chris Coons, 302-573-6345  
>FL, Bill Nelson, 407-872-7161<br>FL, Marco Rubio, 305-418-8553  
>GA, C. Saxby Chambliss, 770-763-9090<br>GA, John Isakson, 770-661-0999  
>HI, Daniel Akaka, 808-522-8970<br>HI, Daniel Inouye, 808-541-2542  
>IA, Charles Grassley, 515-288-1145<br>IA, Thomas Harkin, 515-284-4574  
>ID, Michael Crapo, 208-334-1776<br>ID, James Risch, 208-342-7985  
>IL, Richard Durbin, 312-353-4952<br>IL, Mark Kirk, 312-886-3506  
>IN, Daniel Coats, 317-554-0750<br>IN, Richard Lugar, 317-226-5555  
>KS, Pat Roberts, 913-451-9343<br>KY, Mitch McConnell, 502-582-6304  
>KY, Rob Portman, 361-576-1231<br>LA, Mary Landrieu, 225-389-0395  
>LA, David Vitter, 337-262-6898<br>MA, Scott Brown, 617-565-3170  
>MA, John Kerry, 617-565-8519<br>MD, Barbara Mikulski, 410-962-4510  
>ME, Susan Collins, 207-945-0417<br>ME, Olympia Snowe, 207-874-0883  
>MI, Carl Levin, 313-226-6020<br>MI, Debbie Stabenow, 517-203-1760  
>MN, Al Franken, 651-221-1016<br>MN, Amy Klobuchar, 612-727-5220  
>MO, Roy Blunt, 816-471-7141<br>MO, Claire McCaskill, 816-421-1639  
>MS, Thad Cochran, 601-965-4459<br>MS, Roger Wicker, 601-965-4644  
>MT, Max Baucus, 406-657-6790<br>MT, Jon Tester, 406-449-5401  
>NC, Richard Burr, 910-251-1058<br>NC, Kay Hagan, 336-333-5311  
>ND, Kent Conrad, 701-258-4648<br>ND, John Hoeven, 701-250-4618  
>NE, Mike Johanns, 308-632-6032<br>NE, E. Benjamin Nelson, 402-441-4600  
>NH, Kelly Ayotte, 603-622-7979<br>NH, Jeanne Shaheen, 603-647-7500  
>NJ, Frank Lautenberg, 973-639-8700<br>NJ, Robert Menendez, 973-645-3030  
>NM, Jeff Bingaman, 505-346-6601<br>NM, Tom Udall, 505-346-6791  
>NV, Dean Heller, 775-686-5770<br>NV, Harry Reid, 702-388-5020  
>NY, Kirsten Gillibrand, 212-688-6262<br>NY, Charles Schumer, 212-486-4430  
>OH, Sherrod Brown, 216-522-7272<br>OK, James Inhofe, 918-748-5111  
>OK, Tom Coburn, 918-581-7651<br>OR, Jeffery Merkley, 503-326-3386  
>PA, Robert Casey, 570-941-0930<br>PA, Pat Toomey, 610-434-1444  
>RI, John Reed, 401-943-3100<br>RI, Sheldon Whitehouse, 401-453-5294  
>SC, Jim DeMint, 864-233-5366<br>SC, Lindsey Graham, 864-250-1417  
>SD, Tim Johnson, 414-276-7282<br>SD, John Thune, 605-334-9596  
>TN, Lamar Alexander, 615-736-5129<br>TN, Bob Corker, 423-756-2757  
>TX, John Cornyn, 512-469-6034<br>TX, Kay Hutchison, 214-361-3500  
>UT, Orrin Hatch, 801-524-4380<br>UT, Mike Lee, 801-524-5933  
>VA, Mark Warner, 804-775-2314<br>VA, James Webb, 804-771-2221  
>VT, Patrick Leahy, 802-863-2525<br>VT, Bernard Sanders, 802-862-0697  
>WA, Patty Murray, 206-553-5545<br>WI, Ron Johnson, 605-332-8896  
>WI, Herbert Kohl, 414-297-4451<br>WV, Joe Manchin, 304-342-5855  
>WV, John Rockefeller, 304-347-5372<br>WY, John Barrasso, 307-261-6413  
>WY, Michael Enzi, 307-682-6268<p>

Call those numbers** BEFORE** the twenty fourth!

Darren: WHAT? I didn't die for nothing you know!

Larten: This is terrible! I shall have to return to paradise after this!

Steve: THIS IS SO CRAP! I HAVE FANS ON HERE WHO FRICKIN ADORE ME! I WANT TO KILL THE GOVERNMENT!

Evra: Don't let them boss you around.

Mika: Keep the world of vampires alive.

Annie: It's up to YOU to help. Review, re-post this on your stories and profiles, even facebook. DO NOT LET THEM WIN! Spread the word.

Flamers: FLAME THE GOVERNMENT AS HARD AS YOU CAN!

Mary-Sue writers: Charm them into doing what you want!

Fangirls: In the words of Cheryl Cole, FIGHT FOR THIS LOVE!

Me: I hope you know what's coming for you, stupid government! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(GG stands for Government Guy)  
>Stupid GG: MWAHAHAHA! I feel like passing some dumb bill everyone hates instead of doing something useful, like finding a good strategy to get less unemployed people!<p>

Darren: HEY! This is the only site where SOME people commemorate my death! You can't do that!

Stupid GG: Sure I can! Watch me!

Darren: I'm telling Mr Crepsley.

Mr Crepsley: Did someone say my name?

Darren: Kill that stupid government guy!

Mr Crepsley: Why?

Darren: He's going to shut down this site! You should care, you have whole lot of poems and tributes dedicated to you!

Mr Crepsley: I cannot read.

Darren: I'll read them to you! Just kill him!

Mr Crepsley: Fine. I shall kill him! *lunges for his sword*

Stupid GG: Actually... I think I'll work on finding a good strategy to get less unemployed people! *dies anyway, just for coming up with the idea*

All of you, I'm talking to **ALL** of you. Don't bother reading this and just walking away, this world needs people who **REACT**! We were never alone, even when we felt like it, we** ARE** not alone now, **AND WE WILL NEVER, EVER BE ALONE! **I'm saying the truth, I'm speaking from the bottom of my heart! I don't care if I sound cheesy or angry or insane or weird. I will never give up! Please post this. Everyone needs to know! there are millions of us. Alert those millions!

xxx Dead L E xxx


	3. Sleepover

**Just a few notes before you read this. HOAnubisTS is Jenny, and every bit of this story, except for the last bit and the fact that Larten Crepsley is related to me is TRUE!**

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><p><strong>Sleepover<strong>

That evening, Sarah finished her homework and went back on her computer. She didn't feel like writing, she just wanted to chill. She smiled as she turned Skype on and realised that her friend Jenny was online. She started the conversation.

Sarah Woods: Hey

VampireLover (**Yes, I changed her name to VampireLover when she asked to borrow my vampire book, got a problem with that?**): Hey! Wassup?

Sarah Woods: The ceiling, anyway, guess what?

VampireLover: What is it?

Sarah Woods: I am…

VampireLover: Weird?

Sarah Woods: Related to…

VampireLover: Someone?

Sarah Woods: Close.

VampireLover: Hmmm, a famous writer?

Sarah Woods: Sort of…

VampireLover: TELL ME!

Sarah Woods: FINE! You know nothing about suspense… I'm related to Larten Crepsley!

VampireLover: Yay! I guess… Do you wanna come and have a hot chocolate with me tomorrow?

Sarah Woods: You really don't care? Whatever...Yeah, sure, I'll ask my mum.

VampireLover: ok.

Sarah Woods: I've asked my mum, she says it's okay.

VampireLover: K fine. C ya 2morrow

Sarah Woods: Cya.

Sarah sat up in her stool. She checked her emails to see if she got anything from fanfiction.

"Sarah!" cried her mum, "It's supper time!" Sarah got up reluctantly. The rest of the evening went as usual, her little brother not eating and her twin making fun of him and calling him a baby. Later that evening, at about ten, Sarah settled down to write in her diary.

"_Dear Tomorrow,_  
><em>I found out the most amazing fact today! I'm related to Larten Crepsley! Isn't that pure awesomeness? I know that vampires don't exist and this is probably some sort of 'coincidence'<em> _or just that the Darren Shan Saga was half based on this... But I can't help feeling a bit strange about this all... He's still an interesting ancestor. Changing the topic slightly, I've decided that for my sleepover with Jenny tomorrow, I'll bring my Larten Crepsley Saga. She won't resist! By the way, I've decided that from now on, every night before I go to sleep, I'll have to recite the DSS pledge."_

Sarah yawned and closed her diary. She hesitated on what to do next, but she made her mind up and opened up her kindle. She had recently found out that her kindle was a great way of reading the stories from the fanfiction site. She was missing out on all the reading she _should_ have been doing, but she was so addicted... And living in a foreign country meant all her friends were awake way later than she was! She read a little, and soon got tired. She slipped into her bed and had a lovely dream in which Larten was hugging her and telling her how much he loved her.

Aaah... That was the life. Nothing better than a lovely dream to get you in the mood for the next day!

She woke up quite early the next day, despite the fact that it was the weekend, she quite enjoyed waking up early! She spent time aimlessly on her computer and forgot to have breakfast that morning, but that was just how she rolled. At one, she got dressed and called Jenny to come over and pick her up. She waited for about half an hour before getting a call back, telling her to meet Jenny at the metro station, their usual meeting place.

Sarah put on her jacket, not doing up the zip because she was "_English and therefore was immune to cold_". Sarah ran out of the front door, eager to show Jenny her books and try to retell her Larten Crepsley incident. She knew Jenny wouldn't be interested, but she was willing to try to get her hooked on the Saga. When Sarah arrived at the metro station, she looked around, searching for her best friend. And then she saw her! Jenny was wearing her lovely silver jacket all zipped up, she was pretty but also quite the opposite of Sarah. Where Sarah's eyes were round with a grey-blue-ish colour, Jenny's were oriental with a dark brown gaze, where Sarah was _slightly_ rounder than most girls, Jenny was skinny, where Sarah's skin was white, Jenny's skin was slightly coffee coloured. Basically, they were total opposites, which made their friendship all the better!

"Get in the car!" laughed Jenny as Sarah tried to strangle her with the biggest hug ever.

"YAY! I have so much to tell you about what happened this week! Oh, and you'll never guess what's in my bag!" giggled Sarah, climbing into the car seat.

"A present?"

"Sort of... It's my entire Larten Crepsley Saga!" yelled Sarah playfully, pulling Birth of Killer out and shoving it in Jenny's face.

"Stop it!" shrieked Jenny half-angry, "Why are you so obsessed with ***** vampires all the time? I don't see the interest!"

"DON'T YOU SAY THAT ABOUT LARTEN OR I'LL RIP OUT YOUR HEARTSTRINGS!" Sarah was only partly kidding.

"Hey! I was kidding, I'm sure they're awesome! Calm down will you?" Sarah grinned sheepishly, she overreacted. A lot.

The rest of the day went on as usual, the pair talked about school, argued about books and drank some hot chocolate. Later, Jenny made Sarah call her mum to tell her that the hot chocolate afternoon was turning into a sleepover. She dropped by her house to pick up a bag of stuff, including her kindle. They made their way back to the car and slipped back into meaningless chatter. The car drove back to Jenny's house, but Jenny's parents stopped to get some groceries on the way. The two girls were left in the car. Bored. It was already getting dark and the chatter was getting sillier and sillier.

"Lets try sitting in different positions around the car!" suggested Jenny, getting off her seat and sitting down on the car floor.

"Great idea! We'll be less bored!" Sarah tried out a very funny looking position, lying over the top of the chair, looking out of the back window. Suddenly, she saw a shadow moving in the darkness. She got back into her normal position. "Look, Jenny! It's some sort of animal!"

The girls stared and shadow for a while, and Jenny smiled. "That's not an animal! The shadow is coming from the tree!"

"Maybe... Maybe it's a squirrel..." shivered Sarah, knowing full well that no squirrel had such strangely shaped shadows.

"Yes... Maybe... Maybe it's shadow is from a strange angle," stuttered Jenny, thinking exactly the same thing as Sarah. The shadow moved, they could tell that it, whatever it was, had just jumped off the tree.

"Haha..." laughed Sarah, nervously, "the s-s-squi-squir-squirrell ju-just jum-jumped off... May-maybe it's go-going to-to fi-find nuts..."

Jenny nodded, too scared to say anything. Sarah searched the shadows frantically, hoping to find a clue as to what the creature might be. Sarah saw something strange out of the corner of her eye. She started to gulp, she tugged at her collar.

"Je-Jenny..." she whispered.

"What is it?" Jenny was shaking in terror.

"The-the mon-monster i-is... ri-right the-there!" Sarah pointed shakily towards a dark patch of grass, but even in the poor light, Jenny could see something. And it was big. Bigger than her.

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><p><strong>Dun, dun, duuun! Cliffhanger! Gotta love 'em! Thanks to everyone who joined the anti-PIPA and anti-SOPA movement. I'm really angry, because I hadn't heard of them before today! Anyways... REVIEW!<strong>

**3 reasons why you should review:**

**1. The vampire gods promise plenty of dreams full of vampires if you do.  
>2. I like reviews!<br>3. You make me want to update earlier!**


	4. The Meeting

**YAY! I wrote another update! I love this site... Thanks to all those that helped stop the SOPA and PIPA, I received an email this morning telling me the congress gave up on the whole thing. Special thanks to Jenny for reading the first two books in the Larten Crepsley Saga! Oh, and I've put this calendar written by Roxypony on my profile. This month is January, which is Hug-Whoever-You-Want month. I haven't worked out HOW you're meant to hug them... But you can try!**

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><p><strong>The Meeting<strong>

The girls clung on to each other, as out of the shadows stepped…

"A man?" Jenny laughed nervously, shrugging off all her fears, but Sarah wasn't calmed down by that at all. If anything, she was ten times worse.

"It-it-it-it's L-L…" she stuttered in utter surprise.

"We're safe Sarah! What's wrong with you now?" asked Jenny, wondering if it was some sort of trick that Sarah was playing on her.

Sarah was speechless. Her head felt as if it was about to explode and her heart was hammering a hole in her chest. In an attempt to explain without using her mouth which had just dried up, she picked up her bag.

"Sarah… We're safe and all, but you don't have to show me…" Jenny cut off, realising what Sarah was doing. Sarah was pointing at the Larten Crepsley on the cover of Palace of the Damned. "No…" she breathed looking at the man a second time, "Nooo! That can't be him! He's… fictional…" But Jenny wasn't stupid; she could tell by the man's clothing that he wasn't normal. He was wearing a read top and red trousers, but even compared to his clothes, his hair was the strangest, it was bright orange!

Jenny tried to remember what Sarah had said about Larten… He was a vampire, but weren't vampires the good guys in her book? But Sarah had also said something about red… red eyes, perhaps? Wasn't that a sign of vampanezy or something like that? Larten always wore red and had bright orange hair… Hmmm… She couldn't remember why his hair was orange, but that man certainly had those! What else had Sarah said? Jenny thought about it. A scar. She had said something about a scar, Jenny looked at him, she couldn't see a scar, but maybe that was because his face was in the shadows.

Sarah looked like she was choking; her eyes were full of tears. Jenny glanced at her and realised just how much that information had hit her. Before Jenny could react, Sarah was out of her seat, her eyes were all... weird. She looked as if she was in a trance, she opened the car door and stepped towards Larten. She stood right in front of Larten and... smiled. Her smile was strange, yet normal. Usually, when Sarah wanted to impress someone, she gave a really big smile that showed her front teeth (she was really proud of them!). But this time, it was a small shy smile, something that didn't look right on Sarah, and there was that small voice, Jenny wouldn't have believed that it was Sarah if she hadn't seen her lips move.

"Hello, Larten," Sarah said it calmly, but it was the sort of calm no one ever used. Larten looked down at her and she started to shake violently, she puked and fainted. Jenny gawped, astounded. It was something that she would never have expected from Sarah. Larten's arm shot out and caught Sarah, Jenny couldn't believe her eyes. His hand was extraordinarily fast. She couldn't stand and watch any longer. She ran off to help her friend.

"Who are you?" she growled loudly, trying to remain in control yet dreading the answer.

"I am... It does not matter. Who are you, and what are you doing with Sarah?" asked Larten, raising an eyebrow.

"My name is Jenny. Why are you stalking my friend?" Jenny gulped at the last word, "And h-how d-do y-you know h-her n-n-na-name?"

"I am... Not stalking her. I am... a distantly related uncle..." Larten struggled to find a reasonable explanation, "I am tracing down my family tree. I was hoping to contact her."

Jenny frowned, she remembered their conversation on Skype. "How distantly related?" she asked, suspicious.

"That does not matter. Why were you with Sarah?"

"I _told_ you, I'm her _friend_, we were going to have a _sleepover_!"

"And that is?" Larten tried to guess in vain, he had never had a sleepover before, since it was only a recent human activity.

Jenny didn't know whether to smile in triumph or cry in horror. "Sarah was right! You are Larten Crepsley!" Larten stepped back, it was his turn to be surprised.

"How does she know my name?"

"I'll tell you later! But first, do you know a safe place where we can tend Sarah?" Jenny tried to take advantage of Larten's surprise to save her friend.

"Yes, we can talk later, do you know what might be wrong with your friend?" Larten asked pointing at Sarah, still slumped in his arms.

"_Nooo idea!_" smirked Jenny, sarcastically rolling her eyes. Larten looked at Jenny and muttered something about impolite children, he put Sarah on his back and gestured to Jenny to do the same. "No thanks, I'd rather walk," smiled Jenny.

"Do you know what I am?"

"Yes. You're a vampire."

"Do you know what flitting means?" Larten was getting a head-ache already, it was so hard to explain something to that girl!

"No. I've heard of it... but no."

"It is a very fast way of moving that vampires have," he glared at her, "Trust me, no human can keep up with a vampire."

"Boasting!" muttered Jenny under her breath, hoping that Larten wouldn't hear her, he did and he wasn't happy, but he let her go anyway. She climbed up on his back and held on to Sarah. The rest of the ride was a blur.

When they arrived, Larten put them down and drank from an opaque bottle. It had a metallic smell coming from it, Jenny tried to place it for a moment and then she remembered! It was... Blood. Jenny shuddered, never in whole life had she regretted not reading the Darren Shan Saga so much! If only she knew something about him... A weakness, the name of his girlfriend... Anything!

Sarah sat up, and laughed, "You'll never believe the strange dream I had! It was so realistic... It had Larten Crepsley in it, it had you..." she broke off when Larten entered the room. "Am I still dreaming?"she asked, her eyes wide.

"No. It wasn't even a dream in the first place!" Jenny sat up next to Sarah, and explained what had just happened.

Sarah stood up, shakily and marched up to Larten. Larten was still a little bewildered by what had happened earlier, but he still tried to get his answers first.

"How do you know my name?" he inquired.

"A book," Sarah reached out and touched the scar on face, "You're real, aren't you. You're not a figment of my imagination!"

"Of course not! What makes you think that?" asked Larten pulling her hand away.

"You... You have no idea..." Sarah sobbed and straightened herself, "I know everything about you! _Everything!_"

Larten gasped. "_Everything_?"

"Yes. I know the name of your cousin," Larten shivered, "I know who Malora was, and how young she was when she died! I know the names of all the vampire princes and... I know how you _died_..."

"I... I died?" repeated Larten, unable to believe his ears.

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><p><strong>How did Larten survive... I'll give you a clue. They say something about it in the last book! Oh, and I'm not updating unless I get at least TWO reviews. No less. I love bribery...MWAHAHAIHAVEVAMPANEZEGIRL97'SLAUGHHAHAHAHAHA!<strong>


	5. Revelations

**YAY! A big thanks to all those that reviewed, it means a lot to me!**

**To the anonymous reviewer for chapter 4: Thanks! I had no idea someone could lose a lip by reading my stories. I am however, deeply sorry for your loss, and I promise to pay any fees for your lip surgery, if you get one.**

**I have to thank HOAnubisTS/Jenny for reading the third book in the Saga of Larten Crepsley and... ACTUALLY ENJOYING IT! (Cue fireworks of disbelief). Thank you so much Jenny! You've gone a long way from the girl that told me that vampires were retarded. (Okay, maybe you never said _that_, but thanks anyway!)**

**I've kept you waiting long enough, read my despicable chapter and forget my awesome author's notes. This chapter contains a lot of spoilers, but I can't even have a normal conversation without spoilers, so... Yep. Prepare yourselves for spoilers!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong><strong>**Revelations**

**Larten's POV**

"I... I died?" I repeated, unable to believe my ears. Sarah slumped back in the bed and stared at me, eyes wide.

"Umm... Guys! Could I interrupt for a second?" demanded Sarah's friend, looking very irritated. I did not bother to answer, all my attention focused on the fact that I was with two girls, one of them a relation of mine and as it turned out, she already knew everything about me! "Guys!" she shouted a second time, "Guys!"

Sarah lifted her head up and glared at her friend. "What?" she snapped, just as irritated as her friend.

"What the hell is going on Sarah? I know you're weird and that you think you're a vampire... but you don't have to get a friend to dress up as one to scare me!" she yelled.

"Heh heh... Well... You see... I don't... I might... It... Well..." Sarah smiled sheepishly, "I honestly have no idea what's going on... And this guy is definitely _not_ my friend! I mean... I would like it if he was my friend, but... Um... We've never actually met..."

"Oh, so you admit it, huh?"

"Admit what?" Jenny seemed confused as to what her friend was going on about.

"That guy is a_ fake_! Vampires don't fricking_ exist_!"

"Look, Jenny..." mumbled Sarah trying to find the right words, "I'm not... I'm not always right. I'll admit to that, but this guy is... Well, it's a gut instinct. I think this guy, _Larten_, is real."

"Oh, so we're just going to believe that because you feel like it? I can't really trust your instincts you know" asked Jenny, rather sarcastically.

"Oh yeah? Give me an example!"

"What about the time you ordered a giant fries at McDonald's just because we had enough money?" retorted Jenny

"Yeah... I guess..."

"And that time when you ate Lahmacun with cheese?" asked Jenny. (**A/N It's pronounced Lahmajun and it's like a flat pizza with minced meat and spices, it's better than pizza and it's Turkish, so be jealous non-Middle-Eastern people.**)

"I like lahmacun with cheese!"

"Whatever. Lahmacun with cheese is NOT Turkish, you know that. I still don't trust your instincts."

"Just believe me for once! Trust me! I know what I'm talking about! Larten is amazing and wonderful and awesome and pure awesomeness and wicked and cool and red with orange hair! The person here is exactly the same! I've only known him for a few minutes, but he's exactly as I imagined him!" Sarah clamped her hands to her mouth and looked at me, realising what she had just said. "Not that I... You know... Have a crush on him or anything..." she blushed bright red.

"What proof do you have that he's a vampire?" demanded Jenny, exasperatedly.

"He... What about the bottle of blood he had on the way here?"

"It could have been faked! A mixture of iron and salt would smell exactly the same!" Jenny paused,"And you weren't even awake at that time! How would you know?"

Sarah smiled maliciously, and blushed a little, "I was on Larten's back..." she said dreamily, "He was flitting... Why should I stop sleeping and wake up? And yeah, how could he have faked the flitting?"

"Um... Drugs?" Jenny realised that was hopeless, they could tell that they were out of town and that barely any time had passed. Larten had obviously flitted. "Fine! You win! But he can't be the real Larten, because the real Larten dies in the ninth book! You told me yourself!"

Frowning, I glanced up at the two girls, letting them know that I was listening. They had brought up the fact that I had died again... Why would I die? I was only two hundred, an age that most vampires doubled! Sarah winced, "Don't... I don't want to think about it! All that matter is that Larten is safe!"

"Why are you calling me Larten? Do I know you? And how do you know my name? How do know all those... _things_ about me?" I asked, trying to get her to answer me.

"Would you prefer it if I called you Mr Crepsley? No. You don't know me, and I know your name and all those things about you, because... I read a book saga about you!" she said it all in one breath. I was surprised, a book? Who would want to read about my life? Actually, I could see why someone would want to. I did have quite a lot of interesting stories to tell!

"I would still like to know one last thing, why are you and your friend... Jenny talking about my supposed death?"

"You don't know?" she gasped and then Jenny spoke up,

"Of course he doesn't know! He's still alive!"

"I know... but... Wait! Maybe this is his past or something!" she muttered," Lart- I mean, Mr Crepsley, have you ever heard of a boy called Steve, Steve Leonard, or Leopard?"

I traced back my thoughts, until I remembered something. "Yes, it is quite vague... But I do recall meeting a boy called Steve fifteen years ago. I remember him because he had evil, sweet blood! He wanted to be a vampire, but I did not let him!"

Jenny and Sarah looked at each other. "Uumm... You never, like... Ummm... met a boy called Darren, by any chance?" asked Jenny, repeating the name that was constantly with Sarah.

"No, I do not think so, but I have heard that name somewhere..."

"What about The War Of Scars?" this time it was Sarah that asked the question.

"Yes, Prince Vancha is currently trying to stop it, with his children and his brother, Gannen."

"WHAT? SO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE WAR, BUT YOU'VE NEVER MET DARREN?" Sarah was exploding with frustration.

"I... Oh! I remember where I found that name! It is an author! He apparently wrote a book about Desmond Tiny! That manipulative man was behind the War the whole time! Is that the book you are referring to? Some of the literate vampires did mention something about me being in the story..."

Sarah scrunched up her face in concentration. "I think I understand now!" she jumped around the room a few times, just to get dizzy and whispered, "You never met Darren, because he never knew..."

"Knew what?"

"That his friend, Steve was going to ask you to blood him! He never tried to steal Madam Octa and he never made Steve jealous!"

"What are you on about?" I asked.

"Umm... He went back in the past to stop the entire story from happening and then he published his diary as the most amazing novel ever?" mumbled Sarah she seemed unsure as to how to explain the story.

**Sarah's POV**

OMG. Charna's guts. It really was Larten. I kept having to remind myself that I wasn't dreaming. From the moment I fainted, I knew that it had to be Larten, because... I just knew, simple as that. I tried my best to explain the story to Larten, but I'm not very good at summarizing and I tend to stick to my favourite bits. Mr Crepsley was just too cute and I kept stopping just so that I could have a good look at his face... Not that I like him or anything..._ Fine_. I admit that I _maaaay_ have blushed a little when I said that. AAAAH! Why did that Larten have to look just as I imagined him? He was just... Awesome. _Pure awesomeness_.

"I'm scared. This isn't right," Jenny cried, shaking me from my daydreams. It was daytime, Larten had left and I was tempted to run after him, but I didn't want to pull a tired vampire from his coffin.

"How. Can. You. Say. That? This is AMAZING! WE'RE WITH AN ACTUAL VAMPIRE!" I yelled, not trying to hurt her feelings, but feeling as if I'd managed anyway.

"ARE YOU MAD? We're with a_ vampire_! How do you know he's safe?" she hissed.

"Um. It's LARTEN CREPSLEY!" I half-yelled half-grinned, "How can you call him dangerous?"

"He murdered his BOSS, remember?"

"He deserved it, the b******"

"He murdered Gavner's parents."

"They were part of the cre that murdered an innocent sixteen year old girl! And he was recovering from vampire flu!"

"Whatever. I don't trust him, and you shouldn't too!"

"I TRUST LARTEN AND ALWAYS WILL!" I screamed, and buried my face in Larten's cape. Hmmm... It smelt of Lartenness... If that's even a word... It should be...

* * *

><p><strong>CHARNA'S GUTS! What is it with me and awesome endings? Why don't I ever manage to write one? AAAH! So irritating. This is too happy, I should write something eviler, but it's harder to be evil on yourself. I've realised that I use the word smile. A lot. Could someone please count the amount of times I use it? That would be fun. <strong>

**Anyways, anywho and anywhat, REVIEW! When he people designed this website, they were actually hoping that you'd do that! You know... You could always press that button with "Review" written on it. It's there for a reason. I rarely forgive those that don't review.**

**Larten: I cannot review, because I cannot write!**

**Dead L E: That doesn't matter! I'll let you go, just this once, because your name is Larten.**

**Larten: Thank you. *hugs Dead L E***

**Dead l E: *blushes and hugs back***

**It's almost the end of hug-whoever-you-want month! You can hug as many people as you want! Including Desmond, because I think his weakness is hugs, they make him melt. So hug him. NOW. In your review, hopefully! I'm hugging everyone except Debbie, and I want to hug Larten and all those that review TWICE!**


	6. Nutella Sandwiches

**YAY! I updated! AWESOMENESS! And I managed to update on a Monday because...**

**School's off because of the snow! YES!**

**All of Jenny's words were written by HOAnubisTS, just to keep Jenny in character. All of Sarah's words were written by me, and all of Larten's words were written by... Larten himself! Just kidding, Larten can't write! I wrote his words, but he was watching the whole time to make sure I didn't make any mistakes. Sadly, he didn't have much to say because he doesn't appear in this scene.**

**DISCLAIMER: I refuse to say this... FINE! All the Darren Shan books belong to my library, I only own book 4, 5 and 8 as eBooks and the last book because it was an early Christmas present. And Larten is MINE. I refuse to say otherwise.**

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><p><strong>Nutella Sandwiches (I was hungry.)<strong>

**Jenny's POV**

I was in a vampire's apartment. A _real_ vampire's apartment. I knew Sarah trusted him a lot, since she seemed to trust him enough to fall asleep on his cape, but... he was still a stranger to me. I picked up the books from the Larten Crepsley Saga- Sarah had been holding them when Larten had picked her up- and I started reading. It was around midday when I realised something. I had been up all night! I couldn't believe that I'd spent all nigh listening to Sarah talk to Larten and me about... well... Vampires, but that was nothing unusual for me. The unusual thing was, it was morning when Sarah fell asleep on Larten's cape, and Sarah NEVER falls asleep during the day. Ever. Maybe the vampire had taken control of her mind? No... I don't think that's possible... Maybe she was just tired? I suppose that that was possible, though I never knew meeting a vampire could have such an effect on Sarah. I stood up to stretch my legs and realised that I was hungry. I decided to ignore the rumbling of my stomach for a while, but it was hard, especially since I had nothing better to do except read about people drinking blood and dating French women. Eventually my hunger got the better of me and I tried to shake Sarah awake.

"Wha-what's happening? Do I have to go to school? What day is it?" she screamed jumping up from the cape she was hugging.

"Calm down, we're not going to school! It's Sunday, it's only two PM!" I cried, trying my best to get her to sit down and stop spazzing, sadly, it didn't work out.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! It's two PM and I haven't done my homework! AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" she yelled running about, then she paused, "Wait... Why the hell was I asleep at two PM on a Sunday? I'm not even in a maths lesson!"

"Dude. Calm down. While you were busy cuddling with a 200 year old vampire, I managed to read the series. And I'm hungry." I stated coldly.

"I remember now! and I wasn't cuddling him! I was just... holding his cape... Hang on! You read the series? Charna's guts! Did you like them?" she squealed over-excitedly.

"Yes, I did," I hissed impatiently. "And I repeat, I'm hungry."

Sarah sighed and sat back down, which was a relief, because I was quite worried that Larten would wonder about the noise she was making. "Ummm... I don't really know what to do, you see, I'm already quite confused as to _why_ he's in an apartment, he usually prefers crypts... So I don't really know if he has a fridge, and if he has one, I don't think there's anything you'll consider as edible..."

"Well then let's get OUT OF HERE!" I exclaimed.

"WHAT? And miss the opportunity of a lifetime? NO F***ING WAY!" she yelled back. I gulped, she didn't swear often, so she had to be very serious.

"Calm down. OK, we can stay, but can you wake up the carrot head and tell him I need to eat?" I answered, lowering my tone.

"I'm not sure if waking Larten up in the middle of the day is a good idea..." Sarah grinned, probably remembering something funny from the book.

"Then find me food," I stated in a determined voice.

"Fine... Fine... We'll check the fridge first, just in case I was wrong," she stood up from the couch she'd been sleeping in and walked towards the door, "Well? Are you going to follow me?" I nodded and walked across the room towards the door. We walked for a while until Sarah noticed something. "Look!" she whispered, pointing at a message pinned to a door.

"Dreadful handwriting," I scoffed.

"I know but... Larten can't even read! How could he write a note?" wondered Sarah, "I'm going to try and read it anyway!"

_TO: JENY AND SARAH_

_I AM SLEEPING. FOOD IS IN THE FRIGE. DO NOT UNDER ANY SIRKUMSTANSES WAKE ME UP._

_LARTEN_

"Horrible spelling. I feel like I'm going to puke," I remarked.

"Don't be so mean! He's probably only just learnt!" countered Sarah, opening the door to the kitchen.

"He's 200! How could he have just learnt?" I spat. When I saw the fridge, I flung the door open, my eyes inspecting its contents hungrily.

"You should know! You read the series!" huffed Sarah, also looking a bit peckish as she examined the fridge. "I wonder what he counts as food..." she muttered, then she laughed, "He's so thoughtful! He left us a pot of nutella and some bread and a packet of cereal for breakfast!"

"No milk!" I exclaimed.

"Oh yeah. _How are we going to live without milk?_" snapped Sarah sarcastically, "Get over it, Jenny! It's the thought that counts!"

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. But you should know I'm not happy about being trapped in a stranger's apartment."

"He's not a stranger! I know everything about him, maybe even more than he knows about himself!" replied Sarah, ripping the nutella open.

"He is to me!" I said, biting into a loaf of bread.

"I thought you read the Saga?" she asked, spreading the nutella thickly onto the bread.

"I read the Saga, yes. BUT I'VE NEVER MET HIM."

"Ummm... Whatever. I know him well enough and I fully support everything he's ever done!" mumbled Sarah, pathetically.

"He KILLED Gannen's parents!" I shrieked.

"It's Gavner, and they deserved it! They killed Malora! And anyway, he was still recovering from vampire flu, we've been through this before!" she retorted.

"He FORCED Darren into becoming a half-vampire!"

"I don't want to ruin the books for you or anything but... It wasn't exactly _his_ decision..." muttered Sarah, as if keeping a low volume could hide a secret.

"If Darren would refuse, he would kill Steve!"

"Yeah... But it was Darren's fault in the first place, and Steve deserved death, he's evil!" Sarah yelled back, indignantly.

"DON'T YOU DISS DARREN!" I spat back. Sarah started chewing her hand, and looked down to realise that she had finished all four nutella sandwiches that she'd made. "So what are we going to do now, that we finished eating and the carrot head's still sleeping?" I inquire. "I wish the rest of the vampire clan was here... like Vancha, and Harkat... and Darren. And Arra. And like, everyone."

"You barely know half of them! Anyway, Darren is an author now! He's thirty years old! He doesn't even drink blood. And Arra would be very jealous of me and Vancha... I wouldn't really mind but he's trying to end the War of Scars, and I guess Harkat is with Vancha," replied Sarah.

"I DO know SOME. I know Darren, and you've told me QUITE enough about all of them," I replied, feeling less confident.

"Whatever. I'm tired now. I was up all night and I only got about four hours of sleep yesterday," yawned Sarah, walking sleepily towards the door.

"You slept all morning!" I cried. But Sarah didn't hear me, she was already asleep on Larten's cape. Rolling my eyes, I sat down on the couch and waited for her to wake up.

**Sarah's POV**

_I'm sitting on a couch in a big white room, someone walks up to me. She looks fuzzy, I look at her for a while and realise that it's me. She looks a bit different to my reflection, because she isn't wearing my clothes. She's wearing a bright white dressing gown, with a black belt. A bit like a kimono. Sort of._

_"Look at me," she whispers, but no matter how quiet her voice is, it still seems to echo off the walls of the room._

_"What is it?" I demand, "Are you trying to wake me up? Because it's not working." I realise that my words don't make sense, but I don't try to correct my mistake._

_"You _are_ asleep, silly," she giggles, not so softly this time._

_"Umm... Yeah... Okay, is this why everything is so foggy and white?" I ask, not really knowing how to act around myself wearing a kimono._

_"To be honest with you, I don't really know..." she mutters, she looked thoughtful, "I could fill the room with colours if you like!"_

_"No, don't worry. I don't really mind. Why are you here anyway?"_

_"You had a very busy day, I mean night. You know there's something wrong with this place, but you can't figure out what. I'm here to help you," she speaks softly again._

_"Oh, yeah. Thanks, but I've already worked it out," I grin._

_"Aaaw! I was really looking forward to giving you clues and riddles..." she sighs, "What have you worked out anyway?"_

_"Oh, not much. I've realised that Larten must have learnt to read and write quite recently and stuff."_

_"Well, that was quite obvious... Anything else?"_

_"Yeah, it's quite funny because I only just thought of it. I've just realised that although Larten couldn't spell most words, like 'circumstances', 'Jenny' and 'fridge' he could spell my name. Which is quite strange, because it's very hard to spell 'Sarah' without having seen it written before. If I were Larten, I would've spelt it 'Sara'"_

_"Ummm... And what do you think that means?"_

_"I guess he must have some sort of document with my name in it. Maybe he's just tracing his family down, like me! It's a bit of a coincidence, but you do get coincidences in life," I smile._

_"Wow! er... Yeah, that was pretty much everything... I guess..." the other me stutters._

_"Thanks, it was nice talking to you, even though you didn't really help much. I've always wanted to have one of those weird dreams where you talk to your inner self or something like that. "_

_"You're welcome!" she cries, and then she turned into a butterfly, flew away and got eaten by a Venus Flytrap._

Then I woke up.

* * *

><p><strong>Heh heh. I love writing silly dream scenes...<strong>

**I want to thank HOAnubisTS for reading the entire Larten Crepsley Saga and the first three books of the Darren Shan Saga. I STILL HAVEN'T LOST MY FAITH IN HUMANITY! (and vampanity!)**

**Umm... If anyone has downloaded the Darren Shan Saga eBooks, have you noticed a typo in chapter nineteen? Because I read this bit... I'm just going to type a small extract.**

_**"I don't know if it can do that," Gavner said, "but I'd like to note that Darren is an extraordinary boy. He made a trek to Vampire Mountain - no small feat for one his age - and fought a bear poisoned with **_**vamparieze**_** blood along the way. I'm sure you have heard of his contest with Arra Sails a few nights ago." **_

**Umm... Did anyone else notice the "vamparieze" bit? Because I'm pretty sure that wasn't in the original book. I might send an email to Darren Shan or whoever is responsible for this, but I just want to know if it's possible that I made a mistake. Maybe I didn't download the book properly.**

**You all know what to do now. REVIEW. Or else...**

**Steve: Or else what?**

**Dead L E: Hmmm... I'll let you be in charge.**

**Steve: YAY! I know the perfect torture for those that don't review... *rubs his hands and uses Vampanezegirl97's evil laugh***

**Dead L E: Don't copy her laugh! You might be breaking copyright stuff! She could sue you!**

**Steve: Yeah, right! As if Vampanezegirl97 is going to sue me. **

**Dead L E: Don't say I didn't warn you.**


	7. Taxi

**Hi! I updated again! (I should really stop saying that at the beginning of each note!) I managed to update on a Thursday because... Ummm... SNOW! SCHOOL'S OFF! AWESOME!**

**To all those who noticed the _flamer_ 'Stickletroffoboglogdogy' He's my brother. Not a flamer. He's just doing what twins do, and that's annoying his sister. Don't worry. I'm not even going to say I'm mad at him, because trust me, he's done worse.**

**To Eureka: Nice try. I didn't know who you were, but you pretty much blew your cover by saying, "I reviewed your story yesterday!" at school. I have to admit, I almost thought you were a certain vampanezegirl, but then I realised that she would call herself evil. Not mean. I've tried out Writers Digest and I used said twice in this update. Any more and I would burst into tears. I couldn't update earlier because of the snow storm, it's been messing up the internet since yesterday! I meant to tell you about it at school, but the snow got worse and school was closed.**

**To anyone that wants to know who Eureka is and if she appears in the book: Her name is Miriam and she appears in the first chapter. She is now officially famous for being my friend!**

**To all those who want to know why I'm wasting a perfectly good school-free day writing: I like writing. And there is nothing better to do when you're trapped in a house in the middle of a (mild) snowstorm.**

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><p><strong>Taxi<strong>

**Narrator's POV**

Larten woke up instantly, knowing from experience that it was evening, and therefore time to wake up. He pushed his bedcovers off his face, and pulled the curtains apart to have a good view of the moon. He remembered that the two girls he'd… "kidnapped", sort of, were still in the apartment, so he walked down the corridor to the living room, where he found Sarah sleeping peacefully. The only irritating thing was, she was sleeping on his cape! Larten didn't want to wake her up because no matter how weird and eccentric she was, she was still the closest family he'd known for over 200 years. But that didn't change anything to the fact that Larten's cape was his most valued possession and that he wasn't going to let Sarah sleep on it. He tried to pull his cape as delicately as possible from underneath her.

"Butterfly... Venus flytrap..." she muttered, sleep-talking. Larten sighed, she was talking total garbage! That didn't make any sense. He tried pulling his cape a second time, but he didn't need to. Sarah was already awake.

"Good evening, Sarah," said Larten, dusting his cape before putting it on.

"Wow!" gasped Sarah, "You look so cool with that cape on! It's... it's just how I imagined it!"

"Thank you," answered Larten courteously, "Are you tired? You could continue resting if you want, but I shall have to bring you home. Your parents will be very worried."

"No, I really don't mind. What I'd really like to do is go to vampire mountain..."

"You cannot go to vampire mountain. You are a human!" exclaimed Larten.

"Ummm... You could bloo-" Sarah stopped abruptly, realising the pattern that she was forming.

_If she asked Larten to blood her, he could say (for some unknown reason) that she had evil blood! Thus breaking her heart and then, (for some really silly reason) Jenny would fall in love with Madame Octa! And then Jenny would steal Madame Octa, and one day, when she'd be showing Madame Octa off to Sarah, and her little sister would burst in and..._ Wait a second! Jenny didn't have a little sister... Oh... Oh, well... Never mind...

"I could do what?" asked Larten.

"Ummm... Never mind... Why do you want to bring me home anyway? You could just keep us... it would save you from a lot of trouble, you know,"

"What kind of trouble?" asked Larten, puzzled.

"Ummm... errr... I don't know..." mumbled Sarah, "Ummm... I mean... You won't have to like... Explain or anything..."

"The law would try to chase after me. That would not help!" said Larten, sitting down.

"True..."muttered Sarah, "But if I do have to go home…"

"What is it?"

"Where did you learn to read? And how come you couldn't spell most words, but you could spell my name?"

"I started taking evening lessons a year ago. I am now progressing on actual sentences. I could spell your name because of the way I learnt that you are, in a way, my niece."

"How do you know that?"

"I asked a friend of mine to research it for me on the…" Larten trailed off.

"Internet?"

"Yes. That is it. The 'internet'."

"Umm… Okay, but _why _did you research it?"

"I wanted to know where my family was."

"And why did you go to see me? Not that I'm ungrateful of anything, but… You could have picked anyone!"

"You are the only English speaking relation I have, all the others moved to France, I have been learning English since I was twenty, but I only learnt my French from Alicia, and it is a little rusty," explained Larten.

"Wow… Strangely, it makes sense…" smiled Sarah, "So… Are you going to want to meet my family and stuff?"

"Yes. That might be a good idea." Larten stood up and noticed Jenny, she'd been sleeping through their entire conversation. "But first, we should wake your friend!" Sarah agreed and woke Jenny up.

"Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurgh," groaned Jenny. Larten ignored her sleepiness and picked her up.

"Are you going to flit?" asked Sarah excitedly.

"No. I know the way to your house, but we might look less suspicious if we took a taxi. You do live in the center, do you not?" questioned Larten.

Sarah shrugged, "Yeah, but it's also known as the Old City, it's not that busy..."

"Flitting is very tiring, and you will see much more of me later, when I meet your family," retorted Larten. Sarah sighed and took her books, she would never give those up! Unless of course, she could become a vampire... Shaking those thoughts away, she followed Larten into the moonlight to get a taxi. The moment they entered the taxi, she remembered something important.

"Maybe you should dye your hair before meeting my family..."

"Why?" asked Larten, touching his amazing, thick orange hair.

"Um... Because they'll recognise you, I've told my whole family about you. You could also use a different fake name and buy some new clothes..." she added.

"What is wrong with my clothes?"

"Nothing, but they _are_ quite... recognizable, and capes aren't very popular..." stammered Sarah, struggling to say it, because quite honestly, she loved that cape!

"I will not go without my cape!"

"But you might scare them!" protested Sarah, although what she was really worried about was her brothers. If they realised that Larten was a vampire, they wouldn't leave her alone!

"No. I will meet your family, and if they recognise me, I shall leave," stated Larten. Sarah nodded reluctantly, at least she'd tried... Hopefully, her parents hadn't been listening when she described him and her brothers were too down to earth to believe it...

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><p><strong>Yes. I realise this isn't much of a cliffhanger, but it is to me. AAAAAAAAH! Will my brothers recognise him? Will my mum get really mad at him? He did kidnap me after all...<strong>

**Anyway, I'd like to add that Jenny/HOAnubisTS is currently on the eleventh book in the Saga and will have probably finished it by tomorrow. I feel like I've accomplished a miracle! Not only does she like the saga, but she's had her very first crush on a character from a book! *applause* To be honest, I never even thought that was possible...**

**Now. I am repeating this for the billionth time, (It's a figure of speech) R-E-V-I-E-W! You know you want to. Even if it's just to say that you liked the story or that you want me to update! I accept constructive criticism, even though I won't use it if I don't agree, it's worth a try!**

**See ya later! Nuff said. (Yes, DarkArmedRanger, I stole your catchphrase, but it was so catchy I couldn't resist!)**


	8. Home, Sweet Home

**I updated! Again! This is the bestest week ever! This update is when time starts going all weird, because only 3 days have gone by in the story 3 whole weeks have gone by in real life! But I've decided to make it snow and to make it as if Jenny read the entire Saga. Because that's how I roll!**

**To anyone that actually cares because I feel like I'm spoon-feeding you information about it: Jenny/HOAnubisTS ACTUALLY FINISHED THE SAGA! AAAAAAHHH! MY SOLE PURPOSE IN LIFE HAS BEEN ACHIEVED! And to all those worried Larten-Lovers: No. She does not have a crush on Larten, but she does like Darren! So beware Darren-Lovers!**

**To Eureka: You didn't say this in a review, but you did mention it on Wednesday at school, so... Do you really think it sounds like Larten likes me in this story? Because... Umm... I didn't realise! :D This is creepy... My subconscious is creating a Larten in my mind that loves me, and I don't even notice!**

**To Raven: Thanks for reviewing! You... You didn't really lose a lip? :'( :'( :'( My stories aren't good enough... You have an nonidentical twin too? That's a coincidence! I've never met someone else like that (other than my brother of course XD). My brother is the oldest by two minutes, I was born at 10:12 and he was born at 10:10. On most of our birthdays we have a countdown and he annoys me for the WHOLE two minutes, but I'm taller and I've been taller for two years now. I'm dreading the day he has his growth spurt...**

**When I was writing chapter 7, I did something really weird... You know when I asked Larten to dye his hair and stuff? Well I almost made him agree, which is sort of why I stopped writing so abruptly. Because the MOMENT I made him say "maybe you are right." I got off my stool, paced around the room and almost cried... It was as if he'd died! As if, by changing his looks, I'd ripped something from him, because that hair, that cape, that name... It's more than looks! It has MEANING! And if the real Larten would give up on them that easily... I just wouldn't like him anymore, so I changed his answer. And now I feel ashamed. Ashamed that I even doubted him...**

**Anyway, forget about my humorless mood swings and read my chapter! THIS IS AN ORDER!**

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><p><strong>Home, Sweet, Home<strong>

**Sarah's POV**

I stepped down out of the taxi, and realised it had started snowing. My feet made a crunching sound which reminded me of the second book in the Darren Shan Saga, the first chapter with the scouts master… I couldn't believe that guy hadn't realised it was Larten! But I suppose I hadn't guessed when I had seen the shadow in the tree, so I couldn't really judge him! Slipping out of my thoughts and suddenly noticing the advantage Larten was to me, I did something I would _never_ have done otherwise.

"Larten?" I called, grinning cheekily at what I was about to ask.

"Yes? What is it?" asked Larten.

"Can I go out without my coat on?" I put on my most innocent face, hoping to deceive him into saying yes.

"I…" Larten paused, looking down at me, my teeth were chattering because of the cold, but I didn't mind. I just want to feel the snow the way it really was, and that means cold. My parents never saw it that way and always pestered me with "You'll catch a cold" and "You'll catch hypothermia". Larten hadn't been human for two hundred years, but he knew that he was more resistant to the cold weather than I was, so he hesitated a little before making his decision. "I do not see why not," he sighed.

"Yesss!" I cried, literally stressing the 's' and spitting everywhere because of my (hardly noticeable) lisp. I ran in circles in the middle of the pavement with nothing but a long-sleeved top on, just to show how happy I was! The snow was muddy and wet in most places, but I found a beautifully crisp and whit place to ruin by running in circles on it! I ran round and round for about a minute, before getting dizzy and leaning on a bemused Larten for support.

"Shall we go to your house now?" questioned Larten, but it was more of an order. Jenny got up to follow us. She'd woken up, but she was still a bit silent, maybe it was the cold, but I had my own theory. Knowing Jenny, she was probably thinking up a way of getting Larten to donate DNA. I grumbled a little but I ended up catching up with them too. We walked past the gates of the Old City, Jenny and I showing the way to Larten. When we got to my house, I took a deep breath and opened the door. I expected the worst.

My mother was cooking, but she dropped the saucepan she was holding immediately when she saw me.

"Sarah! You're okay! We missed you so much!" she cried, hugging me. I sighed, I had a lot of explaining to do... "Is Jenny with you? And... Who's that man?" she asked, pointing at Larten.

"Yes, Jenny's with me," I said, hoping that she'd forget about Larten, or at least stop looking at him in that way. To cut the story short. It didn't work.

"Who are you?" asked my mum addressing Larten a second time.

"My name is Larten Crepsley," replied Larten, speaking clearly.

"Have you done anything to my daughter?"

"No. I... I found her and helped her get home,"Larten faltered a bit, but it was the truth! In a way... My mother looked at me, as if she was asking for confirmation. I nodded eagerly, trying desperately to get Larten out of trouble. My father got off his computer to see what all the commotion was about.

"Hello, Mr Crepsley," he uttered with a _terrible_ French accent.

"Hello, Mr Woods" answered Larten, diplomatically.

"Take a seat," my dad gestured towards the couch and sat down. Mr Crepsley followed his gesture and sat down on my father's right. My mum pulled up a stool in front of Larten and sat down facing him.

"What exactly happened, Mr Crepsley?" demanded my mum.

"Umm... Jenny and I were umm... kidnapped by a big muscly guy and ummm... He took us to his house and Mr Crepsley came in and saved us!" I filled in for him, hopefully my mother wouldn't need all the details.

"Big muscly guy? Do you know his name?" my mum growled protectively.

"Steve. Leonard. Steve Leonard," Jenny added swiftly. I groaned. Couldn't she have just made up a name?

"Okay... Is Mr Crepsley going to stay with us? Because we don't have any spare rooms..."

"No, I have my own accommodation, but I will be back to check on Sarah later," responded Larten.

"All right... Well that's settled. I'll call Jenny's parents and Sarah!" she raised her voice and looked at me, "You're still going to school tomorrow. Go to sleep." I nodded and went to bed, even though I wasn't tired, I still needed some time to figure things out.

The next day at school, I caught up with Marty, just to show off.

"Hey, Marty! Guess who I met yesterday!" I yelled.

"Who?" he asked, curious.

"Larten! Larten Crepsley! Charna's guts! You have to meet him!" I cried, probably not the smartest thing I'd ever done.

"Larten? But he's a FICTIONAL character, Sarah! You did NOT meet him! It's I-M-P-O-S-S-I-B-L-E!" he shook his head, pronouncing his words clearly so as to embarrass me even more.

"But... It's true! You have to meet him! He's awesome!" I faltered, he was right. It _was_ unbelievable.

"Just go... You used to be okay, but now? You're just plain mad," mumbled Marty, looking hurt, as if I'd _lied_ to him!

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><p><strong>Next Chapter: Contains words. May contain nuts.<strong>

**I don't have much to say now... I've already written a ginormous Authors Note so...**

**Disclaimer: I've just remembered to do the disclaimer! The Darren Shan Saga belongs to me. At least... I own some of it...**

**REVIEW! R-E-V-I-E-W! It just sucks when no one reviews! SO REVIEW! I am built on reviews! If I don't have enough I'll melt! Just like Desmond when you hug him!**

**Oh, and it's Hug-Kurda month! Hug off!**


	9. School is Serious Stuff

**Hi guys! I haven't updated because... Quite frankly, I just felt lazy. But if I had to make up an excuse that you wouldn't hate me for, I would say that the story I wrote for Vampanezegirl97 was really preoccupying me! I kept wanting to upload it and I couldn't because it wasn't her birthday yet, or as Jenny would say, it wasn't her barfday yet.**

**Please read this chapter. This sounds silly, but I know what you do when I'm not around. You sneak up and PRETEND to read my stories...**

**Darren: YOU'VE GONE MAD!**

**Me: SHUT UP AND FETCH LARTEN!**

**As I was saying... Read on folks! I know you love my notes, but the chapter is just as good!**

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><p><strong>School is Serious Stuff.<strong>

**Sarah's POV**

Tears streamed down my face, I knew the entire class would be worrying about me, but I just couldn't help it. I was often sad, but this time it was different. Because I _hadn't_ been lying. Assembly passed, and for once, I didn't hear anything, even though I usually paid attention to what was happening. Just in case someone mentioned me, because if I had a flaw, it was definitely boasting. Definitely. I loved the feeling that being on stage gave you, I loved that moment when everyone laughed after a joke, or the death like silence that rewarded a good speaker... Suddenly noticing that the assembly was over, I got up and walked towards the form-room.

"Sarah?" Marty shook her.

"WHAT?" I yelled, I didn't want him to make fun me a second time.

"Umm... I just wanted to ask... Is it really true that Mr Crepsley is real?" asked Marty, he looked serious.

"Yes. I saw him. And it's true!" I said firmly.

"Wow... That's amazing!" breathed Marty, a look of amazement and disbelief painted on his face, "Are you absolutely certain?" Typical Marty. He just had to make sure that I wasn't lying.

"Yes. Absolutely. He looks EXACTLY like the Larten I know."

"When can I meet him?" I thought about that for a while before answering.

"Maybe this weekend..." I replied, hopefully Larten wouldn't mind meeting my school friends. I knew he would mind, but oh well... I had made a mistake by telling Marty and I had to live with the consequences.

We had Russian next, I couldn't believe my bad luck. It's not that I didn't _like _Russian, it was just... Hard. Hard with a capital H. The grammar just went through one ear and out of the other. My brain just felt like a fish net with ginormous holes, meaning I could only catch big fish, and Russian was a small sardine. I tried to concentrate on what the teacher was saying, but within five minutes my thoughts were only for Larten.

"I will be back to check on Sarah later," I heard him repeating those words over and over and over and over in my mind... He was going to come back! I started thinking about all the things I was going to tell him about. First, I was definitely going to hug him. Then I would tell him more about the books and fanfiction... Then.. Ummm... What is one meant to do with a real live truly amazing awesome vampire? The problem was, I hadn't really given it much thought. If it was fanfiction, I would tell him I loved him and he would love me back and... But nothing happened like that in real life. Larten was two hundred years old, I knew how he'd reacted when Malora told him she loved him... He just wouldn't find it acceptable. He wouldn't hate me, but I knew he wouldn't love me back. At least, not the way I loved him... The bell rang, and I ran out of the Russian classroom as fast as I could, before the Russian teacher realised that she had forgotten to give us homework. Our next lesson was history. One of my favourite subjects, not because I liked dates and stuff, but because the teacher was funny. But I couldn't even concentrate on him!

"Who wants to clean the board?" I heard him ask. My hand shot up instinctively. He smiled and said, "Sarah, could you please get up and..." I stood up and started walking towards the board. The teacher continued, "And tell Roy to clean the board." I groaned and the entire class started laughing, it was one of those silly jokes he liked to use. Even I couldn't help but giggle a little. The lesson carried on as usual, but I didn't put my hand up again. Mainly because I was thinking of Larten. LARTEN! Sorry... I got a bit carried away back there.

My thoughts drifted off to other things... Skulduggery Pleasant, that new book I'd been reading... If the Darren Shan Saga was real, what about all the other stories? Were they real too? I bit the inside of my lip trying to hold back a laugh, Skulduggery was awesome! If he was real... Imagine a real live talking skeleton! And what about Chemnashaovirodaintrachivu? The dragon from Tara Duncan? (It's a french book). He was funny... And the Demonata? Was that real as well? With Lord Loss and Dervish and Grubbs... Suddenly, I saw a hilarious image of Vancha, Skulduggery, Chem and Lord Loss together. I giggled. They were my favourite "friend" characters, i didn't have a crush on them, but they were the funniest. Even though I was pretty sure that Lord Loss wasn't funny on purpose!

I wondered back to Larten. Was _he _real? Had it been a dream? My parents hadn't said much that morning and I wasn't too sure if I hadn't dreamed up the whole thing... But no, I had no memory of an actual sleepover, so it had to be real. He couldn't be an impostor, could he? After all, the Larten I knew couldn't read. I shook my head. No. He couldn't. No one would be that smart and manage to fake the capitalized childish handwriting, no one would be smart enough to remember to spell _my_ name correctly, but not the other words... (**Yes... I'm secretly complimenting myself in my story, how clever!**) Was there any possible way that I was making a mistake? _I never make mistakes_, I thought firmly, _well... maybe sometimes... _But could I be wrong about something like that? The truth was I had no idea, but in my heart I was sure it was him. HE HAD DRUNK BLOOD! HE FLITTED! No one could fake that! SURELY! _No_, I calmed myself down, _no one_.

Next it was break, I ran up to Miriam and pulled her arm. She was putting her books back in her locker, as usual.

"Hurry up Miriam! I have something really important to tell you!" I yelled, tugging at her sleeve impatiently.

"You always do..." she grumbled, "Why can't you just tell me now?"

"There are people..." I muttered looking around shiftily.

"Sarah," she laughed, "Stop being so ridiculous!"

"Fine!" I huffed, and as quickly as I could, I laid down all the facts, explaining my meeting with Larten. "So," I finished, "Whaddya think?" Miriam looked at me, as if to check if I was saying the truth.

"I don't know... Are you-"

I interrupted her, "Yes I'm sure! I _saw_ him! You know me well enough! You _know_ I wouldn't lie to you like this!"

"Hmmm... Well it is a strange story," she said after some thought.

I nodded. "I don't blame you for doubting me. I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't lived it! Um... Wait... No... I _would_ have believed it, but anyway yeah, I don't blame you!"

The rest of the day was pretty boring, and anyway, I couldn't tell you what happened even if I wanted to! Larten was the only thing on my mind, it isn't everyday you meet your hero! (Especially when he's fictional and he's a vampire.) I waited impatiently for the long lessons to end, I checked the clocks whenever I could, counting the minutes to freedom.

The bell rang at three, I sprung from my chair as if someone had stuck a pin there. "OW! That's my chair you know!" I yelled, and realised it was just a metaphor. I blushed at my stuppidity and then had to go back at correct the word "stupidity" which I had just misspelled. (**Yes, I just stuffed a bunch of random jokes in for no reason, but I thought it was getting a bit dry...**) I stuffed my books back in my bag and raced out of class. Picking up my coat, I saw my dad.

"Hurry up Sarah!" he said in french, he didn't want to be late be late for the french lessons he was going to teach.

"Yep! Whatever you say!" I wasn't in the mood to argue, and anyway, I also wanted to hurry up and meet Larten. Every second wasted felt like a second without him, even though I knew he probably wasn't coming until this evening. I got home and rushed through my homework, splattering it with ink from my fountain pen and my illegible medieval handwriting. Pausing at that thought, I looked down at my sheet, peering at the curvy, old-fashioned style. _Maybe I should ask Larten for his autograph_, I thought, _maybe he has handwriting similar to mine_. That thought kept me daydreaming and I soon found the homework too hard. I scribbled a giant question mark on the worksheet and gave up.

Later, at around five past six, the sun was going down. I shuffled around nervously, stuffing my face and chewing my lip anxiously. He was late! Not really, but he wasn't there yet and to me that counted as late. I paced around my room for what felt like hours, although by the look of my clock it was only half a minute.

Suddenly, there was knock on the door.

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><p><strong>Yes... I KNOW! There isn't any suspense, blablabla and so on and so forth, but don't you want to know what Larten is going to say? Don't you? Oh well... REVIEW! How can I pretend to have conversations with if I have no proof you're reading this?<strong>

**See ya in the next chapter guys!**


	10. Pasta and Cheese

**Sorry to disappoint you all, but this chapte****r is very, very short. Like... short, short. But um... er... on the plus side, I did get an email from Darren Shan... That's not enough? Fine. I started a new blog as well. To the anonymous readers that somehow don't want to create an account to review:**

**To Marty: Hi there! So, you decided to join the group of kids from school that review my stories? YAY! Now go stand in the corner with Eureeka while I write my story. Just kidding. Thanks for reading my stories! I'm sorry I made you look like a bad person, I know you aren't in real life, but I was hungry when I wrote the chapter, and when I'm hungry I'm in a bad mood. Which is sad, because I'm always hungry.**

**To Eureka: I gave my parents a detailed description of him and told them his name, they had no idea what I was talking about. Am I really THAT boring?**

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><p><strong>Pasta and Cheese (Dammit, I'm hungry)<strong>

The door creaked as it opened. I grinned and ran downstairs, spazzing with excitement.

"Hi, honey! I'm home!" called my mum as she walked in. I must have been so caught up in my thoughts I hadn't noticed her walk out.  
>"You… I…" I sighed, realising that she didn't know why I was upset, "Hi, mum…"<p>

"Have you done your homework? Your brother is coming back from French lessons in an hour!"

"Yes, I finished my homework," I lied. _Damn, why couldn't it be Larten?_ I thought. I picked up my mum's shopping and put some of it away.

"Is that man we saw yesterday, you know, Mr Crepsley, eating supper with us?"

"Yeah," I mumbled, hoping it was the right answer. I ran upstairs before my mum could see how disappointed I was.

About an hour later, the door opened again. I just huffed; this HAD to be my brother, Leondardodicini, coming back from French lessons. I was right. My twin, Stickletroffoboglogdogy ran downstairs to greet him, oblivious to the fact that I was just sitting doing nothing. Lendardocicini had run ahead of my dad, so he wasn't there yet. Not that I cared, all I could think about was how late Larten was, even though he'd never mentioned a time. _Maybe he's just getting ready, having breakfast, _I thought, but I was still angry.

Still deep in my thoughts, I didn't hear the door open a third time, but I _did _hear a gasp of stifled amazement from Stickletroffoboglogdogy. I rose to my feet, ran downstairs and nearly fainted a second time. It was Larten, and my brothers seemed to have guessed it.

Leondardocicini whispered in my ear, "Sarah, is that Larten?" I nodded slowly, paralyzed with awesomenitis (**an illness caused by having too much awesome stuff around you. And yes, I did just make that up**).

Before I regained the ability to speak, I noticed my twin striding up to Larten and saying, "Hello, Larten." My parents took about ten seconds before realising what was wrong with that.

"How do you know his name? We didn't even introduce him to you!" exclaimed my mum, surprised.

I pulled Larten away and smiled, "I talked about him at school." My brothers looked at me strangely. _Dammit, now my parents expect them to know everything about my kidnap. Great, now change the subject._ "Uhh... What are we having for supper?" I asked my mum, my stomach grumbled encouragingly.

"Pasta and cheese, your dad's cooking," answered my mum.

"More like cheese and pasta..." I grumbled, but out loud I exclaimed, "Yay! I'm so hungry!" which was partly true, and then I turned to Larten and said, "You'll see, my dad makes the best pasta and cheese in the world!"

It was at that very moment that my brothers decided to ruin my existence. "Mummy! Larten is a vampire!" yelled Leondardocicini.

"He's from the Darren Shan Saga!" shouted Stickletroffoboglogdogy. "In fact... Why aren't you dead?" he asked. The world collapsed, and I was doomed.

Thankfully, all was not over! My mum came to the rescue with, "Vampires? You've been reading too many horror stories! Everyone knows they aren't real!" but she didn't sound too sure. The name Larten was familiar, and she knew she'd heard it before. For the first time, I actually felt bad for spoonfeeding so much information into my parents.

My brothers looked disappointed, but before they could add anything else, I nudged them with my elbow.

"OWCH!" exclaimed Stickletroffoboglogdogy angrily.

I smiled innocently, "So, shall we eat?" My family agreed and we sat down. My brothers eyed Larten suspiciously, they could tell that I knew who he was and any second now...

"Sarah loooves Larten!" sang Stickletroffoboglogdogy softly.

Leondardocicini continued with, "Sarah and Larten sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, second comes marriage, third comes the baby in the baby carriage!" I had to admit, it was a pretty smart technique. It was soft enough so that my parents wouldn't hear, but loud enough so that Larten would. He sent me an inquisitive glance and I shrugged, pretending to have no idea what they were on about. Which of course, I did. So maaybe I did have a crush on the slightly too awesome vampire. Maaaybe I was drooling just at the sight of him and... Oh wait, I was drooling because I was hungry. Whatever. It was pretty embarrassing.

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><p><strong>Hihi. I lied. It wasn't Larten knocking on the door at first... But I'm pretty sure those that know me guessed it. I'm very predictable! ;)<strong>


	11. Fangirling is Dangerous Business

**Hey guys! Back from a VERY long holiday! Summer and forgotten updates have made their way into my life for the last few months... BUT NO LONGER! I, Dead L E, vow to keep updating Family. No matter how long it takes.**

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><p><strong>Fangirling is Dangerous Business<strong>

The meal ended after a scarily inquisitive conversation between my dad and Larten. My brothers had continued their chant and my mum looked very confused. After all, bringing a stranger home and inviting him for supper was not something we usually did. Meh, what did I care? It was amazing I hadn't fainted yet AGAIN. My parents tried to shoo us upstairs so they could continue to talk to Larten, but he declined and said he had to go anyway. He walked out and I fought the urge to hug him and say the diplomatic phrase, "OMIGOSHDONTGOILOVEYOOOOOOOOO OU" and then glomp him very politely, and totally not drag him to my room and tell him just how much I love him and ask him to blood me. No. I would never do_ that _... Maybe?

Anywhale, I didn't do that, and I'm pretty proud of myself for only looking at him in a very strange way when he left. So proud I have tears in my eyes... Oooor maybe that's just the fact that I didn't blink throughout the entire meal just so I could stare at him. Stare. At. Him. Wow. So_ that_'s why my eyes felt like they had daggers stuck in them... And probably why I was having a sudden attack of blindness, too. I closed my eyes and counted to twenty. When I opened my eyes, all the colours came back and I realised Larten was still there and he was looking at me weirdly.

"You fainted again, Sarah," he said. My family had left... In fact, where was I? This wasn't where we'd stayed with Larten. His next sentence answered my question. "You are in hospital." He grinned, "I did not think that fainting was really a reason to call an ambulance, but your family was rather surprised..." I gurgled. Yes, I gurgled. HE WAS GRINNING. MY LARTEN WAS GRINNING! AT ME! IT WAS LARTEN! ...My doctor must have problems, why put the very person that made me faint, inside my ward? Why? I tried to muster a sentence, but Larten looking at me was just destroying my concentration.

"Blub." Wow, I went from describing twelve books, to being a fish. Damn, he was so attractive, and that confused look on his face just seemed to make him more so... He was bent over me, and I guess that was why I couldn't think. Just looking up and I could see pure amazingness. Before I could just shyly look at my feet, but right there, I could barely move. Not that I wanted to, having an eyeful of Larten was a dream come true. His deep green eyes met mine and I gulped. Had the books ever mentioned he had green eyes? I just felt like yelling at Darren Shan. Couldn't I just have a warning? You know, sort of "By the way, not only is Larten super good looking, but he also has green eyes, you know, the kind you really love". Maybe that may have spared me a heart attack? Because I felt like I was having one right then.

Larten was bemused by my fish acting. I suppose that gasping like a fish wasn't really helping too. "Are you alright, Sarah?" he asked. _Well, actually... No. You are waaay too hot, and you just looking at me is making me uncomfortable. I think I'm blushing right now, in fact. Aaaaaand... You just asked me if I was alright, which is totally cute would you mind a long fangirling session now? ... Yeah. Shall I say blub again?_

"Blu... ub?"_ Please go all Finnick and ask me if I want a sugar cube._

"I think there may have been some brain damage," Larten paused. I saw him hesitate, then he said, "I will just go get your mother." He walked out of the room, giving me a dramatic view of his cape swishing.

"BLUUUUUB!"_ Noooooo! DON'T LEAVE! I said Finnick! Not fuck it! Aaaaaah!_

Well, at least I could think properly. Oh gosh... This was happening so fast. Actually, just one thing had happened, but my reaction to it was just getting worse. Just fainting every time I saw Larten had to stop. And I felt like such an idiot... See, normally, I was just some nerd that read books all day, and back then... Well, lets just say that liking a book character was weird, but that when it all became real... Lets just say that the situation changed. As a nerd, the fact that I had a fictional crush meant that I had very little chance of getting all lovey around a guy, when the character is real, everything is different. It's like an amazing illusion.

Larten walked back in with my mum and what was left of my brain evaporated. "Bluuuuuuub!" _How nice to see you again!_ I cried joyfully. My mum stared at me as if it was unnatural for me to become a goldfish whilst talking to Larten.

"Should we call a doctor? she asked Larten, fear creeping into her voice. He shook his head and I could see that he had a vague understanding of what was happening to me, but my mum wasn't reassured at all. I bit my lip and decided to concentrate and muster at least ONE sensible sentence. It took effort, it took courage, it took strength. But I did it. I said it...

"Hi mum, hi... Bluh-Larten!" My mum was instantly relieved and I saw a smile tugging on the corners of Larten's mouth. I decided I could continue, "Wha... What's wrong?"

My mum hugged me and replied, "Nothing! We were just worried, you seemed to be saying weird things..."

"_One_ strange thing," corrected Larten.

"Blub?" I asked, momentarily slipping back into my 'LARTENOMIGOSH' mode.

"Exactly!" exclaimed Larten, probably assuming that I had guessed the sound I had been making, "By the way, Mrs Woods, I must say, putting Sarah it this hospital was a rather strange idea, she seems fit enough to leave now".

I grinned and tried to appear sane, staying in a hospital was NOT what I found fun and productive.

'Mrs Woods' rolled her eyes. "I'll speak to a doctor about it... Maybe they'll let you out early."

Larten winked at me (it took all my strength not to faint after that) and shook her hand. "I must really be getting going now, but do not worry, you will see me around."

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><p><strong>NOW THEN. I HAVE UPDATED! *mini parade* YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAY! Uh, KBerry? I am NOT going to ed up dating Larten in this fic, okay? It may look like it... BUT THERE BE A TWIST! MWAHAHAHAHA! (Yeah, I hate those fics too, LONG LIVE LARTEN FICS WITHOUT CRAZY FANGIRLS MARRYING HIM!)<strong>

**NOW. I AM PROFOUNDLY SORRY FOR THE EXUBERATINGLY LONG WAIT... BUT... REVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEW! REVIEW NOW! REVIEW IN A MINUTE! TELL YOUR FRIENDS TO REVIEW... AND MOST IMPORTANTLY... REVIEW! ^_^**

**(No pressure.)**


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